Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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