After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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