Can i not drive my cunt home
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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