You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
