now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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