Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
