Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
