I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
