If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
