oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
