??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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