Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
40s are totally the cure
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
