I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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