Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
