What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize