HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
