You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
