i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize