worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
