i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Enjoy the penises
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
