I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
