He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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