You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
