i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm always down for nudity.
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