Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
