so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
