dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You dont lie about slip and slides
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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