you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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