my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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