apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
