He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
