3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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