WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
