party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
