1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
