hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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