So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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