Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
