just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
