He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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