Buhtt sex?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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