How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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