if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
