I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
