I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
