I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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