i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
