I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There r osticjed everywhere
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Of course I have a pirate flag
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
