She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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