We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
