nut hugger
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So squirting runs in the family.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize