just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
