At least make sure they are 18
Why
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
