Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
