It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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