Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
