You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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