Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
