the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
