Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
