It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
