He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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