Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
